Here is a link for a simple but meaningful July 4th celebration. It takes very little preparation , and gives kids a base of understanding . Here is the link to the site http://www.prageruniversity.com/4th-of-july-declaration.html
I am going to try this with our little ones, come Monday.
Hoping your celebration is wonderful! Our country is unique and we need to pass along to our children the beauty of what we have here.
Happy Independence Day!!
Hi!
We would like to make you aware of the parents guides available for We Serve Too! A Child’s Deployment Book , and We Serve Too! A Childs’ Reunion Book. Deployment and Reunion bring up many questions for children and concerns for the adults who love them. With our free parents guides, you get the story word for word,page by page. There are suggestions of ways to respond to questions. I want to give you a peek at what you can expect when you go to the link I will post here and access the guides. One of the first pages of our deployment guide goes like this:
Daddy’s unit was deployed his work is far away, and though we are not overjoyed a soldier must obey. The Army said we couldn’t go and Dad said wait right here and wait for me till I get back in just about a year.~ What does it mean that a soldier must obey? A soldier takes an oath, a special promise that he will go wherever the military sends him to protect our country. This is an important promise that every soldier makes. ~ How long is a year? Use the picture to explain that a year is the time from one birthday to the next ( a child’s birthday is an important date for them) Use the seasons to go through it, e.g. the birthday is September you could say that is in the fall, ~ What things do you like to do in the fall? Winter? Spring? Summer? ~ What do you think the people in the story are feeling? ~ How did you feel when you were told how long your parent would be gone? ~ What things will the family miss doing together? ~ How can they make it easier to make Dad a part of the things they are doing?
A Page in the Parent Guide 2 or the
Reunion Book goes like this:
We all need some time for our family to mend, but I promise you things will get better again. I was not here for Christmas, it broke my heart too. (He picked up Ted Teddy and matched a lone shoe.) But our country called me and it hurt little dear, to know I would be gone when you needed me here. Let children know there is a bigger picture. You are serving your country and though you wanted to be there, your job is important for the Family (it is how they get what they need), for the people of the country where you deployed (you protect and defend people wherever you serve), and for our country (this nation cannot maintain its freedom without you).It is important to let children know you did miss them and the pain of separation is not only theirs, but yours too. This is a sacrifice you all make as a family. You might promise each other you won’t indulge in self pity and resentment. Make a team pact. Use this teachable moment to train them to think outside themselves toward the needs of others too.Discuss mending, what it means- and some ways that your family can mend. Incorporate your ideas naturally into your daily living as much as possible. As you model being OK, they will be OK too.
This is just a small sample. You may go to our page http://weservetoo.com/parentsleaders/and get the free download. Click on Book Guide 1(deployment) or Book Guide 2(reunion) . From our home page, click on resources, then parent/leader and you will get to the same page, scroll down to the book downloads. You can use it to talk with kids, open some discussion and help you to think through these things as well. We hope you find them helpful and that you and your little ones will enjoy the resources at We Serve Too!
The other day I was pursuing two blogs written by Military mothers raising little ones as a spouse is deployed. This is something I do occasionally, to keep in touch with what people are experiencing and especially what the littlest members of the family are going through.
In these two blogs, each family had more than one child. In both families the children were very connected to the father, who was the deployed parent. Both mothers stated that the children had a very hard time with the separation, and the anticiaption of it before it happened. They also shared the children’s behaviors, of crying, searching for daddy, and angry oubursts.
Then came the differences. Parent A, summarized with saying that her children would be forever wounded by this absence and that she was having a hard time accepting her role as single parent while her husband was away.
Parent B, looked for creative ways to make the deployment a focused time of keeping the father in the children’s’ lives. She did things like placing pictures at child eye level and making a jar with daddy’s picture on it and giving them a kiss goodnight from daddy before bed (a sweet Hershey kiss). This family was able to settle in, and though deployment was hard, it became manageable. The children were able to go on and be happy most of the time.
It was not those little things she did that grabbed my attention though. This parent stated something profound …the children in family B were proud that Daddy was a soldier. Mother B was too, and let them know in no uncertain terms, what an honor it was to be a Military Family. Now I am not saying the parent A was not proud of her husband, just that it was not the focus, as it was in family B.
No one will argue that the military life is ever changing, but we do not believe it is unstable just because there is an absence for a time (sometimes a long time) . The attitude of the parent directly effects the children.
This is the core of the matter. We all need purpose in life. To know our purpose is a gift that allows us to endure sacrifice with honor and courage. Spouses who are proud of the service thier loved one provides this country, are more likely to stay married and to find the adventure in being a Military family. Those who are fearful, unsure of the relationship and unhappy, generally do not survive.
Divorce in the Military has high numbers because we live in a “me first” time ,and are encouraged to find ourselves outside the marriage relationship. Sadly this is transfered to our children who are told they are “being cheated’ while a deployment is under way, rather than honored by a larger purpose outside themselves.
If the family can feel and embrace this larger purpose, they will weather the deployments, the changes, the reunions, and find a stronger and more bonded life within the Miltiary.
Paula and I have a mission statement :We Serve Too ! Honor and Courage for Military Kids! We hope that our resources help children and their parents embrace that badge of courage and honor they most bravely earn.
The month of the Military Child is coming to a close. We have thought of ways to celebrate the resiliency of kids who learn to wait for a parent to return, who move frequently from friends and extended family, who can’t feel roots, though they test their wings in ways most children never do.
They sleep with bears that speak with the voice of a deployed parent, on pillows with that parents picture. They wear dog tags that say “I will be strong and courageous” and strong and courageous they are.
We cannot forget the children. April is a great month to celebrate them, but please remember, parents are deployed every month of the year, and children wait at home.
If you know a Miltiary Family, look out for the kids. Offer to help with homework, take them for ice cream, tell them you know it is not easy.
Kids are resilient, but not made of stone. Tears are good sometimes and a listening ear a comfort to the heart.
If you are a teacher and have a Military child in your class, perhaps you can make a point of having the class send notes, or artwork occasionally to that child’s parent. It will please the parent, and create a belonging and sharing in your class that can help that child feel less alone.
If you are a parent, remember that though your children are very close to you, you need to talk about problems and difficulties with another caring adult. You are the rock while your spouse is away, and children need to feel secure. The temptation to share too much with a child is there, as you feel alone too, but there are many people willing to help you if you reach out to your church, your friends, family or other Military Families who know what you are going through.
Children need to stay connected. There are many good resources to help you guide a child in creative and fun ways to stay in touch with a deployed parent. The resources at We Serve Too! are designed with this in mind. These resources can be found at at http://weservetoo.com/
Lets remember to celebrate these wonderful kids, and not just in April!
This recipe was given to me by Paula when I asked her if she knew of a good way to do something meaningful for Easter. I wanted something for my grandkids to teach them something more than to search for jellybeans. Our kids were very interested and engaged in this. If you want the kids to enjoy a hands on, meaningful, and yummy activity try this one!
Ingredients:
1 cup of whole pecans in a ziploc bag (I had two kids so divided into two ziploc bags)
1tsp. vinegar
3 egg whites (don’t get any yolk in it)
a pinch of salt
1 cup of sugar
A large spoon,mixing bowl , wax paper, cookie sheets
Preheat oven to 300
Take the bags of pecans and let the children beat them with a large spoon to break them into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read John 19:1-3
Let the children smell the vinegar. Put one tsp into the mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink. (they can try it on a folded paper towel, touching their tongue to it, like Jesus did on the sponge and hyssop) Read John19:28-30
Add the egg white to the vinegar (since it won’t work if the yolk is mixed in, I separated the eggs and did not have the kids do that ). Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life, to give us life. Read John 10:10-11
Sprinkle a bit of salt into each child’s hand. Let them take a tiny pinch and place it in the bowl, then taste what is in their hand. Explain that the salt represents the tears shed by Jesus’ followers and bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 23:27
So far the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup of sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him. Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16
Beat with a mixer on high speed until stiff peaks are formed (12 to 15 minutes) Explain that the color white represents the purity in Gods eyes of those whose sin is cleansed by Jesus. Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3
Fold in the broken nuts. Drop by the teaspoon onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus body was laid. Read Matthew 27:57-60
Put the cookie sheet in the oven. Close the door and and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus’ tomb was sealed. Read Matthew 27: 65-66 .
GO TO BED! Explain they might feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus’ followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed. Read John 16:20 and 22
On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter Jesus’ followers were amazed to fine the tomb empty and open. Read Matthew 28:1-9
He Has Risen!
I did this with my 9 year old and 6 year old grandchildren. I looked up Scriptures ahead and marked them, knowing that the attention span may not allow for me to look them up as they waited, but I was probably not giving them enough credit. They loved taking turns adding the ingredients, but I could not convince them to taste the vinegar! They really were excited about getting up in the morning to see what the cookies were like. They thought they tasted like marshmallows and had several!
Do you have any special activities you do with your kids for Easter? We would love to hear about them!
P.S.
(If you have nut allergies, you can use some chocolate bars that are cold, and can break them up in the same way and add those to the cookies instead, to get the rocky tomb idea, though I have not tried this.)
Kids… They bring us tears, laughter, joy and heartache. We give them our hearts, our homes, our lives …
April is the month in which we honor the children of our Military Families. These children sacrifice the time that they would have with a beloved parent ,as that parent works to defend our freedoms, our livelihood, our way of life as we know it. Without these brave warriors, we would not have the safety and privileges that we enjoy as a nation.
So , how can we help when these children,home waiting for a parent to return?How do we help them look at the year ahead missing that important person? How can we help as a Family is apart and the parent at home shoulders all the responsibility? Here are a few ideas, and I hope that you will post others that I have not thought of!
* The We Serve Too! books are great for starting conversations and honoring the feelings and lives of Military kids. Read the stories, and check the parent guides for good conversation starters. Here is the link to our website http://weservetoo.com/
* If you are not the parent or close relative of a Military Family, consider a box of books to be donated to the children of a nearby Military installation, school on post, or daycare center. The books are great for educating civilian children on the sacrifices made by kids with parents that are deployed or returning too.Local school libraries are another place that donations are appreciated.
* The Homecoming Box books make a great activity for a group of children or for one child. The book explains the Homecoming Box, and there are instructions in the back on making the boxes that become a family treasure.
* Host a Homecoming Box party or FRG activity and let the kids work together. It is always good to let the kids talk with one another as they share the same journey.
*Here is the link http://www.operationwearehere.com/Children.html to the childrens page on the website of Operation We Are Here. There are lots of resources on it , and I bet you will find some ideas here about things to do with the kids.
* Taking time to talk with children can enlighten you and also provide clues as to ways to honor them. Ask about school, friends, homework. Do they need homework help, time away, an outing with one of their friend in tow? Maybe they need to practice their fast ball, get a ride to dance class, just talk to someone about what it is like missing an absent parent.
* be supportive by going to the school play, the science fair, the choir program. You will enjoy them more than you think, even if your kids (and maybe especially so ) if your kids are grown!
* If you are family, or a close friend, let them know that you miss their dad or mom too.
* Offer help or meals to the family. Not just “call me”, but ” I am bringing dinner, what night this week is best?” Supporting the Family helps kids feel secure.
* It doesn’t have to been hard, take a lot of time or money. An ice cream cone, a cute sticker for that child that sits behind you in church, a smile and a “thank you for your parents service” , can let a child feel the pride of being part of a Military family.
Please post an idea, so that many can make a difference for kids this month. April is a month to remember, honor and express our gratitude for the people who give so much.
In the words of a soldier: “If you help my child, you help me. Nothing is more important to me than that.”
Well, our newest book is out and ready to guide those little hands into making a Homecoming Box of their own! The kids above have made their own boxes and are now using them to keep life stories in, until a deployed parent returns. This new addition to the We Serve Too! series of books for Military Families is colorful fun, teaching children that they can make a family treasure .
The cover shows our two We Serve Too! kids (our grandchildren) looking quizzically at a decorated box. The story shows a group of children who have deployed parents learning the purpose and joys of The Homecoming Box.
I would love to hear from parents , teachers , counselors or FRG leaders who decide to use The Homecoming Box activity. Paula and I have done a couple of workshops on these, and the kids come up with some really wonderful ideas. I know that the boxes make an impact and that Families can find new ways to tell the important stories of life as they face deployment, sustainment and reunion.
To see more about the homecoming Box, click here
Almost Forever is a book written by Maria Testa.
I love this book. It is a remembrance stone in the wall of my life, though I did not experience this particular situation, others in my childhood came flooding back. The way it is written is so authentic to a child’s eye view , the thinking that kids do in the privacy of thier own hearts.
The book is written in the perspective of a 6 year old girl in 1967, as she and her brother experience the deployment of their father to Vietnam. The father, a medic, copes with his connection to family, as the family at home works to stay afloat. My experience as a military mom and grandma, allows me to say that this is a powerful, authentic, though short read, and the realities are all there.
As a child of divorce at this very age, I found myself again able to recall vividly the experience of a fatherless home, and the lonely ,unstable feel of it.
The mother in this book, like my own did, works hard to make it all work. I cannot give away the part that wretched my heart most, but then perhaps it would be different for others anyway. There are places where you think you know what is happening, to be surprised that you were wrong.
Written in a prose, the language is stark and powerful. There is no overt political commentary, but only what a 6 year old might pick up from what she sees around her. At a park and her mother comments ” lucky kids, I wonder if they even know anybody in Vietnam.” You know they are protesters, but it is not said. The ending is one you will not soon forget.
The child’s eye view is so much more complex than people know. This book is universal , about life, and how we figure out what to do next when we don’t know what to do next. If you want to get a glimpse of the heart of a Military child, a read of Almost Forever, is well worth your time.
You will know even more clearly why we say We Serve Too!
Wow, so much has been going on I realized my last post was about Christmas cookies! Sorry all!
Paula and I have been invited to go to San Antonio for an Army National Guard Yellow Ribbon event the first weekend in February. That means we have lots of work to do to get ready.
We are nearly finished with our newest book The Homecoming Box, which we will be presenting there in Texas. It is going to print, we hope by the end of February, and so the San Antonio group will be the first to pre-view it. I have had so much fun illustrating this one!
The We Serve Too! kids are growing at about the rate of our grandchildren. As I draw, I can’t help it, they have a life of their own and they are getting older. I am able to hold back on the growth somewhat with the drawings (wish I could keep the real thing small a bit longer!)
The kids now have a new batch of friends that are involved in making The Homecoming Box. Our granddaughter Devon decided to name them . I will have to introduce them to you by name when we unveil the book after printing.
We will have a coloring page up on the website of our good friends at Operation We Are Here with all the new kids pictured too, later in February, in time for Valentines Day. Check that in in addition to all the other wonderful resources they have there.
One that our kids have found is fun in the Brat Town Bugle. You can download pages that are like a family newspaper, and then the kids can fill in and send off to their deployed loved one. It is fun for the kids because they can choose what pages to do, sports, school, events, pets, and many others. Here is the link to their menu page for the kids: http://www.operationwearehere.com/Children.html
Happy New Year (OK, so it was two weeks ago…better late than never!)
I am about to reveal to you a wonderful family recipe that was brought over from Scotland by my great-grandparents on my mothers side.
Not only are these rich and delicious, they are easy to make especially for people who are very busy (like parents who have a deployed spouse for instance!)
I have some in the oven now, and my fingers are literally sliding over the keyboard due to the amount of butter (yes I did wash, but this stuff is seriously buttery!)
Here is my Christmas gift to all of you who visit us at camo-n-kids and We Serve Too!
Scotch Shortbread cookies
1 cup of real butter (no, not margarine, you will miss the rich taste)
5/8 c. suger (10 TBSP)
2 cups of white flour (this is not health food, loosen up and use the right stuff, you won’t be sorry!)
Mix this with your hands until you can make a ball, but don’t over handle it.
I roll into small balls and use a cookie press, the flat ones with a picture on them,( dipping in flour first so they don’t stick). Rolling a ball and flattening with the bottom of a glass works too.
Oven is at 300 and you cook about 25 minutes (check that they get only a golden brown, not too dark)
That is it! These are rich and a couple is enough with a cold glass of milk.
Merry Christmas!!